amporaeridan: (Default)
[personal profile] amporaeridan
-- caligulasAquarium [CA]has started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
CA:
wwakin time kar
CA:
i can make you some grub wwaffles
CG:
WHAT?
CA:
i just wwoke up
CA:
decided twwo see
CA:
wwhats up
CA:
thats all
CG:
THE ALCHEMIZER CONTINUES TO DEFY EXPECTATIONS AND THE LAWS OF SMELL AND BE THE FOULEST STINKIEST PIECE OF SHIT EVER IMAGINED
CG:
THAT'S ALL
CA:
wwhy dont you let me have a go at it
CA:
im pretty good
CA:
ive made a couple small things
CA:
rings and stuff
CG:
IT SHOULDN'T BE THIS FUCKING HARD
CG:
I'M JUST DOING IT WRONG, AS USUAL, LIKE A FUCKPANNED IDIOT WITH HIS FIST UP HIS CHUTE.
CA:
wwell what are you tryin twwo make
CA:
glasses right
CA:
like
CA:
youre owwn vversion a ters
CA:
you knoww its photo compatible if you set it twwo that mode
CA:
and you can draw out the design you wwant and it should pick it up
CG:
WHAT?!
CG:
SINCE WHEN DO THEY FUCKING DO THAT
CG:
HOLY FUCK DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GOD DAMN TIME THAT COULD HAVE SAVED ME
CG:
NOT JUST NOW, EITHER, THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRETY OF THIS SHITFORBRAINS GAMES
CG:
I WOULD BE THE FUCKING MAID OF TIME, THAT'S HOW MUCH TIME I'D HAVE SAVED
CG:
GET IT IT'S A TERRIBLE PUN AND I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF.
CA:
im shore rad wwould a lovved it
CA:
i just glubbed her up
CA:
actually
CG:
WHAT?
CG:
WHY
CA:
she assisted wwith a pitch present twwo sol
CG:
REALLY?
CG:
I THOUGHT SHE DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE ANYMORE
CA:
she cared about this
CA:
it wwas up her alley
CA:
i kneww she wwould
CG:
WHAT KIND OF PITCH PRESENT
CA:
oh itll ruin the surprise for evveryone
CA:
im shore youll hear about it from him
CA:
its the best idea ivve evver had
CG:
NO FUCK THAT SURPRISES ARE FOR WIGGLERS AND ASSHOLES, WHAT IS IT?
CA:
kaaarrrrr
CG:
DON'T FUCKING KAAAAARRRRRR ME BECAUSE YOU'RE PANDAMAGED ENOUGH TO THINK SURPRISES ARE FUN
CA:
you cant tell him
CA:
if you tell him i wwont forgivve you
CG:
I'M NOT FUCKING GOING TO

CG:
SURPRISES ARE FUCKING AWFUL WHAT DID I JUST SAY
CA:
fine
CA:
okay
CA:
you knoww howw hes wwanted twwo a him
CA:
and you know howw i alwways wwanted twwo a him
CA:
wwell you might not a knowwn that last part
CA:
but you knoww howw hes alwways wwanted a double
CG:
YEAH.
CA:
well noww theres goin twwo be twwo a him
CG:
WHAT
CG:
THE SHIT
CG:
HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING PULL THAT OFF, EXACTLY
CA:
same wway redeq wwas made
CG:
SO THERE'S GOING TO BE SOLLUX AND THEN THERE'S GOING TO BE A CREEPY ROBOTIC ANIMATED CORPSE SOLLUX
CG:
GREAT. FUCKING FANTASTIC.
CA:
sollux and solldux
CA:
correct
CG:
LET'S ALL MAKE REANIMATED CYBORGS OUT OF OUR VARIOUS DISCARDED MEATSACKS!!!
CA:
soldux*
CG:
IT'LL REALLY LIVEN THIS PLACE UP
CG:
HOLY FUCK.
CA:
i mean i dont necessarily wwant a clone a myself
CG:
YOU DON'T HAVE A CORPSE LAYING AROUND ANYWAY
CA:
yeah sol wwas pretty bummed about that
CG:
UGHHGHHH FOUL
CG:
I FUCKING BET HE WAS.
CG:
I'M GOING TO TRY AND GIVE THIS FUCKING DRAWING HORSESHIT A SHOT BUT I'LL BE BACK IN A WHILE
CA:
alright kar just let me knoww
CG:
YEAH.
CG:

I GIVE UP FOR THE NIGHT. THIS THING IS FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME, I SWEAR TO FUCK.
CA:
so the drawwin thing didnt wwork
CG:
NO
CA:
hm
CA:
wwell you can try somefin else tomorrow and maybe get some fresh ideas
CA:
speakin a drawwin though
CA:
i wwas feelin dowwn the other night and i wwent huntin for my old fuckin diary i wwas tellin you about
CG:
THE ONE FROM SWEEPS AGO?
CG:
JEGUS SHITGRUBS YOU STILL FUCKING HAVE IT?
CA:
just twwo see howw different i really am -if at all- since i last wwrote in it
CA:
of course i do
CA:
you dont just throww that shit awway
CA:
you use it as a point a comparison
CG:
YOU DO IF IT'S INCREDIBLY FUCKING EMBARRASSING!
CA:
i wwas pretty fuckin embarassin
CA:
in a pitiful sort a wway i guess
CA:
all these drawwins a me as dualscar
CA:
wwhat id look like as an adult and shit
CA:
different plans for seadwweller take ovvers
CG:
OH MY GOD
CA:
poems
CA:
oh youd get a kick out a the more depressin drawwins i put in here
CA:
the shit i used twwo draww wwhen i wwasnt feelin so hot
CA:
a lot a murder
CA:
and black
CG:
BLACK PITCH OR BLACK, JUST, BLACK DRAWINGS
CA:
both
CA:
some of its from wwhen vvris dumped me
CA:
me thinkin wwe wwere fated because our ancestors wwere but me not bein up twwo scruff
CA:
apparently thats not somefin i wwas supposed twwo pick up
CG:
OH MY SHIT THE FUCKING ANCESTOR THING
CG:
WHAT A GOOD FUCKING LESSON "DATE SOME FUCKASS BECAUSE YOUR GENETIC PREDECESSOR TWELVE THOUSAND YEARS AGO GOT DOWN AND DIRTY WITH THEIRS"
CG:
HOW THE FUCK DID THAT EVER MAKE SENSE
CA:
it still astounds me that you dont believve in that shit
CA:
or suscribe twwo it
CA:
for someone so into serendipty thats really somefin kar
CA:
i mean it happens all the fuckin time
CG:
REALLY
CG:
*REALLY*
CA:
that you allign wwith the same shit your ancestor did
CA:
wwhy else did i find his gun
CA:
and livve in his boat
CA:
and go pitch wwith vvris
CA:
picked up his orphaner duties n shit
CG:
THE REST OF IT'S FUCKING LUCK
CG:
AND WEIRD COINCIDENCES
CA:
wweird coincidences aint just coincidences
CA:
its fate kar just accept it
CA:
except i dont knoww wwhere this all plays into it
CA:
maybe it just means our ancestors wwere that fuckin awesome that wwe get twwo pass our signs dowwn
CG:
ALSO FUCK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMPARING THE WELL DOCUMENTED AND VITAL CONCEPT OF SERENDIPITY TO A BUNCH OF HIGHBLOOD SUPERSTITION AND BULGEGAZING
CG:
WHAT WE
CA:
it aint suspicion
CA:
its just as vital a concept too
CA:
and wwell documented
CA:
havvent you evver fancied the idea that our ancestors crossed at one point in time and wwere fullfillin somefin unfinished a theirs
CG:
IF I KNEW WHO SHIT IN THE BUCKET THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY EXISTENCE, I WOULD COMMANDEER ARADIA AND DOOM THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIMELINE JUST SO I COULD GO BACK AND PUNCH THAT FUCKER IN THE FACE
CA:
no you cant do that
CA:
i mean wwhat if your ancestor wwas some shipmate or slavve on dualscars ship
CG:
THEN HE DESERVES TWO PUNCHES
CA:
and through a series of rivvetin vvoyages and heartstoppin avventures they savved their livves multiple times or somefin and devveloped some kind a kinship
CG:
ERIDAN. THAT IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
CA:
oh but it could havve totally happened
CA:
maybe thats wwhere you got the crab thing
CA:
wwe met at sea in another lifetime
CG:
WOOOOOOOOOW
CG:
FIRST OF ALL IT TOTALLY COULDN'T HAVE FUCKING HAPPENED, AND IF IT DID I WILL BET YOU EVERY FUCKING CAEGAR I HAVE TO MY NAME THAT IT DIDN'T TURN OUT LIKE THAT
CG:
SECOND OF ALL EVEN IF, IN THE SMALLEST, MOST REMOTE, DOOMED, SHRIVELED TIMELINE OF THE DAMNED, IT DID
CG:
THAT WASN'T FUCKING US ANYWAY
CG:
GOD JUST THE VERY FUCKING IDEA MAKES THIS TIME TRAVELING PUNCHING SERVICE SOUND MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE.
CG:
ANYWAY, IF I HAD AN ANCESTOR -- AND I'M NOT FUCKING SAYING I DO -- HE WAS UNDOUBTEDLY A TERRIBLE SHITSPONGE AND LIVED A SHITTY LIFE. WHY IN THE MOTHERGRUB'S LEAKING THIRD SPHINCTER WOULD I WANT TO REPEAT THAT??
CA:
its not about repeatin it kar
CA:
its about rightin the wrongs and un-fin-ished business
CA:
think of it this wway
CA:
if your ancestor livved a shitty life maybe thats wwhy youre in the position youre in
CA:
youre quadranted, in charge, and successful
CA:
but no i do think our ancestors influenced each other somefhoww
CA:
im not shore howw but thats the fun part
CA:
i mean dualscar hated lowwbloods wwith a passion so he probably didnt treat your ancestor wwell
CA:
but maybe thats the point of all this
CA:
or one athem
CG:
OH YEAH FUCKING GREAT. GLAD TO HELP YOU WITH THAT PARTICULAR OBSTACLE IN THE NEVERENDING QUEST TO NOT BE A DOUCHEFINS
CA:
i think ivve improvved
CA:
i think
CG:
YES.
CA:
i still think theyre petty and gross
CA:
for the most part
CA:
but i guess that doesnt make em
CA:
cullable
CA:
i guess
CA:
i mean theyre useful here in the game
CA:
fuckin landwweller majority
CG:
IT'S REALLY CUTE HOW YOU THINK I BELIEVE A SINGLE FUCKING WORD OF THAT
CG:
AND BY CUTE I MEAN YOU'RE A DUMBFUCK.
CA:
i think wwed be much better off wwithout extra wweight like tav, gam, eq, and vvris
CA:
rad provven herself useful twwo me for once
CG:
NOBODY'S KILLING ARADIA A SECOND TIME
CG:
AND THREE OF THOSE ARE FUCKING HIGHBLOODS!
CA:
landwwellers the same
CA:
but no
CA:
youre right
CA:
theyre all
CA:
alright
CA:
shouldnt be culled and shit
CG:
THERE YOU GO.
CA:
i wwouldnt wwant eq cullin you
CA:
and i knoww he wwould
CA:
if givven the chance
CG:
YEAH
CG:
YEAH, HE WOULD.
CG:
WHATEVER, LIKE I GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT HIS OPINION
CA:
no one should
CA:
his ancestry is terrible
CA:
i read that part a her book
CA:
he wwas the fuckin Expatri8
CG:
IS THAT AN ACTOR
CA:
no
CA:
he did somefin twwo get himself exhiled
CA:
didnt say wwhat
CA:
but he livved in hidin
CG:
WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS SHITHEEL IN VRISKA'S BOOK?
CG:
ARE YOU SURE SHE DIDN'T JUST MAKE HALF THIS THING UP TO FUCK WITH YOU BOTH
CA:
wwe found it together
CA:
and that wwasnt her handwritin
CA:
and it talked about void and shit
CA:
robotics
CA:
it wwas obvviously his ancestor i think i evven saw his sign somewwhere but im not shore
CA:
but wwhat a fuckin loser
CA:
no wonder hes so miserable in this lifetime
CG:
WELL GREAT ALL OF YOU CAN SIT AROUND AND SQUEEZE YOURSELVES TO ANCESTRAL DESTINIES THAT DON'T MEAN JACK SHIT ANYMORE NOW THAT ALTERNIA'S GONE, AND THE LOWBLOOD CONTINGENT WILL KEEP FUCKING ON AS USUAL
CA:
fates still fate kar
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amporaeridan: (Default)
Eridan Ampora

September 2014

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