CA: Coddle

Mar. 30th, 2014 11:32 pm
amporaeridan: (Default)
[personal profile] amporaeridan
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CA:
you didnt tell me human had hair evverywwhere
CG:
IS THIS THE NEW GOSSIP
CA:
its wwhat eq told me
CG:
IS THIS THE VITAL INFORMATION THAT'S NOW BEING PASSED THROUGH THE ROUNDS
CG:
LIKE BURROWBEASTS THROUGH THEIR TUNNELS
CA:
and that you and him wwere glubbin about humans
CA:
i see howw it is
CG:
WE WEREN'T GLUBBING SHIT
CG:
IT WAS A GROSS AND DISGUSTING DISCOVERY
CG:
AND RELEVANT TO HIS CONTINUED WHATEVER THE FUCK HE'S DOING WITH HIS UPTIGHT SWEATY LIFE
CA:
hes still so in denial
CA:
tellin me hes gonna rip my nose off
CA:
and i wwasall
CA:
the shell you arent
CA:
my nose is chistled by the cods
CG:
WHY DID HE GET MAD ENOUGH TO THREATEN YOU?
CA:
i called him out on his flush crusha gain
CA:
after i wwarned him about the toxic spooge
CG:
WELL NO FUCKING WONDER SINCE IT ISN'T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS
CA:
it is though
CA:
if he gets near the dirty human then he could pass that shit onto us
CA:
i needed to wwarn him
CA:
not that itll do us any good
CG:
WHAT AN EXCELLENT LOGICAL SITUATION YOU'VE COME UP WITH HERE
CG:
LET'S SEE: BOTH OF THEIR DREAM SELVES ARE DEAD, SO THEY HAVE NO WAY OF MEETING
CA:
wwhat if you pitch crush discovers hes the destroyer of space
CA:
your*
CA:
he already broke space ovver here
CA:
he could do somefin crazy and break whatevvers keepin us appart
CG:
WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE WANT TO DO THAT
CA:
to see you
CG:
WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE WANT TO DO THAT?
CA:
because hes runnin around naked for you
CA:
trollin you at odd hours a the day
CA:
sendin you on quests in concuspicient dens
CA:
hes pitch and he doesnt evven realize it
CG:
NO HE ISN'T
CA:
he is kar
CA:
i just realized it after the chat
CA:
he is
CG:
ERIDAN.
CG:
DON'T.
CA:
i knoww
CA:
i knoww kar i knoww
CA:
hes got to get awway from you
CA:
cod i knoww kan doesnt wwant anyfin to wwith him but shit you need an ash like fuck
CG:
KANAYA DOESN'T NEED TO GO ASH SHE SHOULD JUST DO HER FUCKING QUEST SHIT HERSELF
CG:
EXCEPT IT'D BE HARD TO DO WITH ONE PERSON AND THAT'S SHITTY OF ME TO MAKE HER TRY AND DO.
CA:
no youre doin fine
CA:
youvve helpped her so much
CA:
ill
CA:
ill think a somefin
CG:
DON'T FLIP ASH ON ME, SHITHOLE.
CA:
i wwas just goin to troll him up and explain wwhat hes doin
CA:
and wwhy he ne- okay thats ash
CG:
WOW NO REALLY????
CG:
DON'T.
CA:
i wwonder if the kenny humans done his talkin yet
CG:
HE BETTER NOT HAVE SINCE I FUCKING TOLD HIM NOT TO
CA:
wwhat
CA:
you told him not to
CA:
wwhty
CA:
youre basically askin for your frustration at this point
CG:
BECAUSE HE WAS ACTING LIKE A SHIT ABOUT ASHEN SENTIMENT
CG:
AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH TWO ALIENS SHITTING ALL OVER MY SQUARES.
CA:
ugh i guess you havve a point
CG:
IT'S ALMOST LIKE I'VE ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS AND AM MAKING THE BEST DECISIONS POSSIBLE IN AN ENTIRELY AWFUL SITUATION!!! WOW, KARKAT, EXCELLENT SHOWING OF RARE GOOD DECISION MAKING.
CA:
if anyone knowws howw to handle this its you
CA:
thats true
CA:
i just wwish there wwas somefin i could do
CG:
I KNOW BUT THERE'S NOTHING ANYBODY CAN DO BESIDES JUST GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH SO I CAN BLOCK HIM
CG:
AND NOT ACTUALLY FIGHT HIM AGAIN EVEN THOUGH I SAID I WOULD, SHIT.
CA:
wwhat
CG:
I'M NOT GOING TO!!!
CG:
IT'D BE POINTLESS AND STUPID.
CG:
RIGHT?
CA:
kar
CA:
wwhat are you tryin to get out of this
CA:
besides a larger and more frustratin hate wwiggly
CG:
YES, IT WOULD BE. THANK YOU FOR THE AGREEMENT SANS ANY UNNEEDED COMMENTARY.
CA:
wwhy did you evven agree to it in the first place
CA:
no i knoww wwhy
CA:
you cant help yourself
CA:
your jonesin for the next go
CA:
maybe he'll accidently brush his fuckin legs betwwen your fuckin thighs and thatll be good enough until the next go wwhere youll casually flirt around the edges
CA:
come on kar this is fuckin ridiculous
CG:
I ***KNOW***
CG:
I KNOW.
CA:
come on
CA:
ill make you some grublinis and wwe can talk
CA:
i think ivve got it dowwn noww but i need you to tell me wwhat you think
CG:
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU SACK OF HAIR, I ACTUALLY DO DO THINGS BESIDES SIT IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER WAITING TO HAVE THESE MEMORABLE FORAYS INTO MY OWN STUPIDITY
CG:
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF ANNIHILATING A BUNCH OF IMPS AT THE MOMENT
CA:
i knoww im not sayin you dont
CA:
and oh good
CA:
wwasnt i supposed to help you at some point
CG:
I CAN DO IT MYSELF!!!
CA:
im not sayin you cant
CG:
I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
CA:
i knoww you aint
CA:
youre gettin sensitivve
CG:
WELL YOU THINK -- SOMEHOW, DESPITE THE FACT I'VE BEEN THERE MULTIPLE TIMES INCLUDING TO SAVE *YOUR* DUMB ASS FROM YOUR OWN STUPIDITY -- THAT I CAN'T MANAGE NOT TO GET SPONTANEOUSLY MAULED BY THE MONSTERS ON YOUR PLANET
CG:
SO HEY WHY NOT ALL MONSTERS, RIGHT?
CA:
i didnt mean that
CA:
angels though
CA:
to be honest lovve it took me long enough to master the art a killin them and youre a melee player
CA:
they havve wwings
CA:
its not a good mix theyd probably tear you to shreds
CG:
UNLESS THEY'VE ALL ALCHEMIZED COPIES OF YOUR GARISH SEAHORSE GUN AND HAVE PASSED THEM AROUND, I DON'T THINK IT REALLY FUCKING MATTERS
CG:
THEY'D HAVE TO GET IN ARMS REACH ANYWAY.
CA:
and wwhile i do acknowwledge you came to my rescue before
CA:
at least i wwas still able to use my powwers back then
CA:
despite bein blind
CA:
i could still defend you
CA:
this time i couldnt
CA:
so thats wwhy i got sol too
CG:
I DON'T NEED DEFENDING!
CG:
I AM A WHIRLING MASS OF DEVASTATION AND SHOUTING, AND ALL OF YOU FLASHY ASSHOLES NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FAT HEADS.
CA:
yes yes
CA:
ivve seen you take on many monsters wwhen we levveled some dungeons on lopah towwards the beginnin
CA:
but kar you knoww the angels are another beast
CA:
i mean angels aside
CA:
howw many trolls havve you culled
CA:
by your owwn claws
CA:
you nevver flarped
CG:
BECAUSE FLARPING IS FOR GIRLS AND ASSWIPES WITH A DEATHWISH.
CG:
AND AFTER THAT IT'S BEEN THE GAME AND NO, I'M NOT ABOUT TO CULL MY TEAMMATES
CG:
*UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE*
CA:
i nevver understood the avversion to flarpin
CA:
it wwas as close to real life adulthood as wwe could get
CA:
wwhich is wwhy i kneww id be fine in trainin
CA:
i wwas one a the best flarpers in the alternian sea
CA:
if not the best
CA:
i can take dowwn any troll wwho evver makes the fuckin mistake a callin me out
CA:
no gun or hope powwers
CG:
WITH JUST MELEE WEAPONS.
CA:
shore.
CG:
WHICH ONES.
CA:
ivve striffed wwith a cutlass before
CG:
SWORDKIND
CG:
OKAY THAT'S ACTUALLY BETTER THAN I'D THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BUT STILL AWFUL
CA:
the highblood term is a cutlass
CA:
its vvery specific
CG:
THE TECHNICAL TERM IS STUPID PIECE OF SHIT THAT'S TOO LONG TO USE IN ESPECIALLY TIGHT QUARTERS WITHOUT STABBING YOURSELF, DUMBFUCK!!
CA:
oh and a fuckin sickle is supposed to be better
CA:
the fuckin thing is curved in
CA:
its basically designed for self infliction
CG:
NOT IF YOU'RE USING IT RIGHT
CG:
I MEAN THE LOW LEVEL IMPS YOU COULD PRETTY MUCH SWING ANYTHING AT THEM AND THEY'D FALL OVER IN AN EXPLOSION OF GLITTER AND FAIRYSHIT
CG:
BUT ACTUAL FIGHTING ISN'T AS MUCH SWINGING AROUND
CA:
sickles arent the wweapon a choice for highbloods
CA:
out on the seas ivve nevver seent hem used
CA:
usually when the other ships crew came on board id take them all out in one blast
CA:
i saww some a them carryin them but they didnt get close enough to use em
CG:
BECAUSE THEY SOUND DUMB AS SHIT.
CA:
you think you could a done a better job
CG:
YEAH, BECAUSE A BETTER JOB INCLUDES NOT RUNNING ONBOARD THE SHIP OF A FUCKING SEADWELLER IN ORDER TO COLLECT PRETEND TREASURE IN A DUMBFUCK GAME FOR WIGGLERS
CG:
IF SOMEBODY WAS SO HARD UP TO DIE FOR SOMETHING STUPID THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST WANDERED OUT INTO THE SUN AND DONE A FUNNY DANCE UNTIL EATEN BY THE UNDEAD
CG:
AT LEAST THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN KIND OF INTERESTED
CA:
hah
CA:
maybe
CA:
but then fine
CA:
i wwant to see this
CA:
it sounds highly amusin
CG:
WOW THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
CA:
than provve me wwrong kar
CA:
i proposed practice striffin before
CG:
YEAH SURE WHY THE FUCK NOT. YOU'LL DROP AS MUCH GRIST AS THESE PIECE OF SHIT IMPS AND EARTHMONSTERS. FUCK.
CA:
guess again
CA:
you wwont havve room in your fuckin sylladex for the shit id drop
CG:
WELL GOOD THING I'M NOT OUT TO KILL YOU THEN ISN'T IT
CA:
wwell someones gettin cocky
CG:
IT'S NOT COCKINESS
CG:
IT'D BE COCKINESS IF I ALCHEMIZED MYSELF SOME CRAPPY CRAB THEMED RIFLE AND DECIDED I COULD OUTSHOOT ANYONE ON THE TEAM
CG:
THIS IS TACTICAL ASSESSMENT
CA:
my guns awwesome
CA:
and themed appropriately
CA:
and youll eat those wwords kar i mean look at yourself
CA:
you reely think you can take me dowwn
CG:
YOU REALLY THINK USING A HIGHBLOOD SWORD A COUPLE TIMES TWO SWEEPS AGO COUNTS AS SIGNIFICANT MELEE EXPERIENCE??
CA:
itll be enough
CG:
[98.477563 14.226477]
CG:
SINCE THIS QUEST IS ALMOST OVER ANYWAY
CA:
good
CA:
ill be there like fangfishbeasts on an ovverwweight blubberbeast
CA:
kar
CG:
YEAH?
CA:
this wwas kinda intense i mean im still gonna kick your bubble glutes but you know
CA:
<>
CG:
<>
CA:
okay i hope you brought tissues
CA:
because youre gonna be weapin wwhen im done wwith you
CA:
and im gonna havve to pap you dowwn
CG:
...THAT SOUNDED REALLY WEIRD
CA:
actually it did
CA:
i wwould havve to make this wweird
CG:
WELL, STOP FUCKING TALKING IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AWKWARD.
CG:
THIS ISN'T A FUCKING COMPETITION
CG:
THIS IS ME SHOWING YOU I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF JUST FUCKING FINE
CA:
right
CA:
omw

[[ca stopped trolling cg]]

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amporaeridan: (Default)
Eridan Ampora

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