amporaeridan: (Default)
[personal profile] amporaeridan
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] started trolling carcinoGenecticist [CG] --

CA:
hi kar
CA:
salufuckintations
CA:
are you havvin a fabulous fuckin ashen day
CG
WOW WITH A GREETING LIKE THAT HOW COULD IT BE ANY OTHER KIND?
CA:
i wwanna glub
CA:
can i glub to you
CA:
is that still okay
CA:
or does sol havve to be in here too to glub
CG
FUCK NO, YOU'LL BOTH START SHRIEKING AT EACH OTHER OR WORSE
CG
IF I HEAR ONE MORE INNUENDO SO THINLY VEILED IT'S TRANSPARENT, I WILL RIP OFF MY EARS, SHOVE THEM DOWN MY WINDTUBE, AND CHOKE TO DEATH
CA:
ugh wwell i really did think you wwere still flyin around
CA:
there just
CA:
wwatchin
CG
I WASN'T *WATCHING*, I WAS STANDING STILL IN SHEER, PREYLIKE HORROR, CONVINCED IF I COULD MANAGE NOT TO MOVE THE TERROR OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING WOULD PASS ME OVER LIKE AN UNOBSERVANT PREDATOR.
CA:
wwell thats wwhat i wwanna glub about
CA:
that date wwas horrible
CA:
howw many times did each of us flip
CA:
and i realize that most of it wwas my fault shore
CG
IS "EACH OF US" NOW SEADWWELLER FOR "ME AND MY BULGE"
CA:
i felt the pap kar
CA:
its wwhat calmed me dowwn
CA:
ultimately at least
CG
IT WASN'T A PAP IT WAS 100% PURE ASHEN DISGUST
CG
EXPRESSED VIA HAND
CG
TO FACE
CA:
alright fine
CA:
be that wway
CA:
it wwas still terrible
CA:
im still throwwin up
CG
WHAT, REALLY?
CA:
sols gotten powwerful
CA:
i mean he alwways wwas but
CA:
evven more so noww
CA:
its wwhy i flipped half wway i can tell he levveled quite a bit
CA:
so takin that direct hit to the face for evven the short period a time that it happened
CA:
cod ivve been so fuckin ill
CG
MAYBE SOME OF THAT WILL PENETRATE YOUR THICK SHELL OF A SKULL AND YOU'LL FUCKING LEARN SOMETHING FROM IT
CA:
i did fuckin learn
CA:
i should a nevver flipped
CA:
wwe need to be ash
CA:
at least until wwe can figure out wwhy wwe alwways come back to this sort a trivvial rubbish
CG
YEAH, NO FUCKING SHIT!
CG
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM FOR A SECOND
CA:
yeah i wwas
CG
JEGUS FUCK, ERIDAN
CA:
did you not see wwhat he did to me
CG
DID YOU NOT SEE ME RIGHTFULLY AND APPROPRIATELY SOCKING HIM IN THE FUCKING MOUTH FOR IT?
CA:
oh did you
CA:
thats so nice a you kar i alwways kneww you wwere lookin out for me
CA:
anywway
CA:
thats wwhat i wwanted to talk about
CA:
takin this ash shit seriously
CA:
howw do i do it
CG
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT SERIOUSLY?!
CA:
howw do i not flip black for sol half wway
CA:
and howw do i repress my pale feelins for you
CG
WELL THE FIRST PART WAS MY FAULT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I LET YOU SHITS FIGHT LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE
CG
I SHOULD HAVE ENDED IT BEFORE YOU EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO TAKE ANOTHER SLOT ON THE TOP FIVE WORST DECISIONS OF ALL TIME LIST
CG
NOT THAT YOU SHITS WERE LISTENING TO A FUCKING THING I SAID, THANKS A FUCK LOT FOR THAT!!
CG
BUT I DON'T KNOW, ASSHOLE, IF YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT AND NOT PUTTING IN THE EFFORT THEN IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK AND SOMEBODY IS GOING TO GET HURT.
CG
PROBABLY ME, WHEN I SHIT OUT MY GUTS IN RAGE SO I CAN CHOKE YOU BOTH WITH THEM
CA:
no
CA:
i am goin to take it seriously
CA:
but i did notice you not answwerin that last one
CA:
should i just continue to repress it then
CA:
wwhile i take this ash stuff seriously
CG
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT
CA:
honestly
CG
HONEST ADVICE FOR HOW TO GET YOU TO NOT HAVE REALLY GROSS CROSSQUADRANT FEELINGS AND DRAG ME INTO THEM??
CG
I DON'T KNOW!!
CA:
oh STOP it kar you cant just up and say you dont feel pale for me no longer either
CA:
so are wwe agreed that wwe shovve it and just carry on
CG
AT LEAST I HAVE THE GOD DAMN DIGNITY TO *TRY* AND PRETEND THAT THIS ISN'T SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUT OF A QUADSMEAR VIDEO, OKAY.
CG
AND YEAH.
CA:
dont call our serendipitous pale relationship a fuckin quadsmear vvideo kar
CA:
ill fuckin slap you upside the face for that
CA:
ashenly
CG
OH YEAH OKAY WE'RE JUST SERENDIPITOUSLY PALE WITH A SIDE OF ASHEN DEBAUCHERY THAT'S TOTALLY FUCKING DIFFERENT --OH WAIT--
CA:
shit like this happens kar its just part a the
CA:
its a plot twwist
CA:
thats all
CA:
anywway
CA:
so im takin this seriously noww
CA:
i wanna try again
CA:
maybe havve a productivve date instead a just punchin sols face and then tryin to make out wwith it
CG
YEAH THAT'D BE A REFRESHING CHANGE, WOULDN'T IT
CA:
is that howw do do it though
CG
LIKE WATER IN THE PARCH OF THE DESERT LEVELS OF REFRESHING
CA:
do i go to you and just ask
CG
I GUESS?
CA:
"hey go grab sol lets go on another date"
CA:
"and talk about wwhat wwe wwant out of the other so wwe dont kill each other"
CA:
also does this mean sols also your boyfriend
CG
UH
CG
YEAH
CG
....HUH
CA:
thats the wweirdest part a this wwhole thing
CG
WHY IS IS THAT WEIRD?!
CG
THAT'S WHAT SOLLUX FUCKING SAID AND I FAIL TO SEE WHY IT'S SO GODDAMN WEIRD
CA:
because i see you both as like
CA:
i dont knoww
CA:
troll woody and troll buzz
CA:
but i realize that he and i put you in this situation so
CA:
sorry
CG
.......DO YOU WANT TO PICK A MOVIE COMPARISON THAT ISN'T PALE
CA:
i meant fuckin best friends
CA:
they are pretty pale though arent they
CA:
no fuck it
CG
YOU BOTH DID. I MEAN, IT'S DEFINITELY MORE YOUR FAULT BUT HE ISN'T BLAMELESS EITHER
CG
THEY WERE COMPLETELY FUCKING PALE BY THE SECOND MOVIE IDIOT
CA:
i wwas only thinkin the first
CG
OBVIOUSLY!!
CA:
yeah yeah wwhatevver
CA:
but okay so
CA:
wwhat should wwe do for this non-fuck up of an ash date
CG
HOW ABOUT NOT FUCKING FIGHTING LIKE ASSHOLES
CG
THERE'S AN IDEA
CA:
no wwhere should wwe GO or
CA:
should wwe wwatch a movvie
CA:
or go fight a dungeon or
CA:
talk about wwhy wwe hate each other platonically and fix it
CA:
or
CG
CAN YOU FUCKERS MANAGE TO SIT STILL AND TALK WITHOYT DEVOLVING INTO UTTER RETARDATION AND BLEATBEAT LAUGHTER?
CG
THAT'D BE THE MOST PRODUCTIVE OPTION BUT I SERIOUSLY DOUBT YOUR ABILITIES TO NOT RUIN IT
CA:
wwell if wwe start that shit just slap us on the ash
CA:
get it its a pun
CG
YO
CG
YOU'RE FUCKING AWFUL
CG
JUST UNRELENTINGLY TERRIBLE, WOW
CA:
sorry am i temptin you
CG
TEMPTING ME INTO AN ENDLESS AND OBNOXIOUS FIT OF RIGHTEOUS ANGRY SCREECHING MAYBE
CA:
now dont get riled up
CA:
or do wwhatevver
CA:
this is infuratin to you isnt it
CG
WHICH PART.
CA:
evveryfin
CA:
havvin to be in the middle a this
CA:
dealin wwith sol and my shit
CA:
itll all be okay though kar i think wwe made a break through
CG
LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND.
CG
IF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, I WOULDN'T BE.
CA:
oh
CG
I AM GOING TO MEDIATE THE FUCK OUT OF BOTH OF YOU IN A GODDAMN WHIRLWIND OF YELLING, AND IT'LL BE FUCKING GREAT
CA:
alright then
CG
I GUESS
CA:
fuck
CA:
howw hard are you goin to mediate this
CA:
i mean you pulled through at the end last time
CA:
that wwas
CA:
pretty ash sexy
CA:
my bruises are still sore
CG
WHAT BRUISES
CA:
from you headbuttin me
CA:
in the side
CG
OH
CA:
yeah that wwas pretty hot kar you should do that more often
CA:
sans headbuttin me that hurt
CA:
but i kneww you had to
CG
THERE, SEE, ALL OF YOU RANK DROOLING MORONS WERE SO BUSY FONDLING YOURSELVES OVER HOW HILARIOUSLY NUBBY MY HORNS ARE
CG
BUT WHOSE HORNS HURT NOW
CG
THAT'S RIGHT. MINE.
CG
YEAH I FUCKING HAD TO, JEGUS
CA:
yeah it hurt pretty fuckin bad
CA:
i wwas wwrong
CA:
nubs or not they are vvery effectivve
CG
THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT THEY ARE.
CG
SO DON'T START THAT SHIT AGAIN
CG
EITHER THE PITCH OR THE FIGHTING.
CA:
fine yes
CA:
but yeah layer on that no nonsense ash shit
CA:
it looks nice on you
CG
I'M ALWAYS NO NONSENSE
CA:
but you knoww
CA:
wwith that edge to it
CG
MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS A NONSENSE FREE ZONE
CA:
i dont knoww wwhats different but its kinda
CA:
got that 'wwrong but right' feel to it
CA:
maybe its because wwe're in the blacker side a conciliatory noww
CA:
it just feels so intense
CG
WELL THE STAKES ARE FUCKING DIFFERENT NOW
CA:
yes do go on
CG
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT HAPPY FUCKING FUNTIME FEELINGS AND EEKING OUT WHAT I KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF,
CG
THERE'S TWO OF YOU SHITS AND THAT MEANS HALF THE TIME YOU HAVE TO SUCK IT UP
CG
WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT
CA:
yeah thats true
CA:
i guess
CA:
but come on you knoww you havve a better time glubbin to me than you do him
CG
IT'S A DIFFERENT TYPE OF GLUBBING, MOSTLY BECAUSE HE AND I HAVE THE PRIDE NOT TO CALL IT GLUBBING
CA:
you like callin it glubbin do NOT start that wwith me
CA:
i can sea right through you karkat v
CG
CA:
you think my fish puns are pitiful
CA:
wwhich i dont understand
CA:
but i still knoww you enough to knoww
CG
SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOOK, SHITBUTT, YOUR PUNS ARE A HORRIFIC ABOMINATION AGAINST ALTERNIAN
CA:
oh i kneww you lovved them
CG
WOW YEAH THAT'S ALMOST EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!!
CA:
isnt it just
CA:
alright wwell lets brainstorm about this next date
CA:
wwhat kind a date wwould wwe benefit the most from
CG
ONE WHERE I STAND BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU AT EVERY POSSIBLE SECOND
CG
SO PREFERABLY SOMETHING FUCKING STATIONARY
CA:
movvie then
CA:
i guess dungeon is out a the question
CG
WE'LL WATCH A MOVIE AND YOU CAN *BOTH* BE AWFUL AND TALK THROUGH THE WHOLE THING
CA:
no
CA:
for once ill try to not speak
CA:
and then wwe can both give sol sour looks
CG
YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN ACTUALLY
CG
TASTELESS PIECE OF SHIT
CG
HE'LL PROBABLY WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING WITH MORE EXPLOSIONS THAN DIALOG BUT FUCK THAT I'M PICKING
CA:
oh fuck lets like
CA:
pretend wwere gonna wwatch troll tron or somefin
CA:
and put troll shes all that in the tron box
CA:
and then wwatch him get all excited only to see him fuckin explode
CG
HOW DARE YOU. SHE'S ALL THAT IS A MASTERFUL PIECE OF CINEMATIC GENIUS AND ABOVE BEING USED AS A PETTY PRANK
CG
WE'RE JUST GOING TO WATCH IT AND LIKE IT. THE END.
CA:
im still goin to pretend wwere wwatchin troll tron
CA:
make sure you sit betwween us hes gonna wwant to slap the shit out of me
CG
YEAH, YEAH

Profile

amporaeridan: (Default)
Eridan Ampora

September 2014

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
141516 17181920
21222324252627
282930    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 26th, 2017 08:37 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios