amporaeridan: (Default)
[personal profile] amporaeridan
-- carcinoGenecticist [CG] started trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] --

CG
ERIDAN, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TELL GAMZEE??
CA:
wwhy the double question marks
CA:
it makes me sound like youre accusin me a somefin
CG
WHY, DID YOU DO SOMEFIN?
CA:
no
CA:
all i told gam wwas 'go command eq twwo make the sol robot'
CA:
because i wwas runnin out a options
CG
I JUST FUCKING TALKED TO HIM AND BETWEEN THE INCREASING AND EVERGROWING SENSE OF FUTILITY AND THE BARRAGE OF MORONIC AND NONSENSICAL BULLSHIT, HE SAID YOU TOLD HIM TO TELL--
CG
THIS WAS OVER THE FUCKING *ROBOT*???!
CA:
i reelly wwant it kar i wwas growwin desperate
CA:
wwhat did he say i said
CG
HE DOESN'T FUCKING REMEMBER, APPARENTLY.
CA:
so he lied about me
CA:
wwhat did he tell you then
CG
UGGGGHHHHHHHHHH THOS IS THE STUPIDEST. I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH ALL FUCKING THREE OF YOU, I SWEAR TO FUCK.
CA:
are you okay
CG
I'M FINE!!!! NO THANKS TO THIS RETARDED LINE GAME OF HIGHBLOOD TELECOMMUNICATIONS DEVICE YOU ASSHOLES WERE PLAYING!!!!!
CG
SOLLUX AND I TOOK CARE OF IT.
CA:
fod cods sakes man stop bein so vvague
CA:
took care a wwhat
CG
EQUIUS AND HIS STANDING FUCKING CULL ORDERS?????
CG
WHERE. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO FUCKING KNOW, WHERE EXACTLY IN THIS CHAIN OF STUPIDITY
CG
DID MAKING SOME STUPID SEXY PITCHBOT
CA:
eq tried twwo cull you
CG
TURN INTO GO KILL SOME ASSHOLES
CG
WHAT LITTLE GEM OF VOCABULARY GOT MISINTERPRETED THERE???
CA:
i think its gam
CG
HE DIDN'T TRY VERY FUCKING HARD.
CG
YEAH, NO SHIT. GOOD JOB USING SOMEBODY WHOSE BRAIN HAS LITERALLY TURNED INTO SOPOR TO RELAY MESSAGES, ASSHOLE.
CA:
shoosh take a seat ovver there for a second and listen twwo me
CG
DON'T YOU SHOOSH ME WHEN I'M PERFECTLY FUCKING CALM
CA:
you wwere almost culled for cod fuckin sakes maybe /i/ need twwo stay fuckin calm
CA:
wwhen i wwas glubbin him up about the solbot he randomly and unpredictably capslocked at me and started sayin shit ivve nevver evven thought he had the capability a sayin
CG
YEAH, THAT WOULD HELP.
CG
IT WASN'T ALMOST CULLED EITHER IT WAS A SAD FARCE OF A FIGHT SCENE.
CA:
somefin along the lines a me bein a cowward and other shit he had no fuckin right twwo say
CG
...UHUH.
CA:
wwhere does he come off callin me a cowward wwhen im pretty shore he doesnt evven knoww howw twwo strife
CG
GAMZEE KNOWS THE WORD COWARD?
CA:
ill bite his clowwn head off and feed it twwo his freakin imp army until theyre coated in his undeservvin purple and slime colored swwill
CA:
he kneww somefin
CG
NOBODY'S FUCKING BITING ANYONE'S GOD DAMN SKULL FROM THEIR CHITINOUS NECKSTALK
CG
I ALREADY TOLD EQUIUS, NOBODY IS CULLING ANYONE
CA:
no sorry he called me a 'little bitch'
CG
YEAH OKAY AT LEAST THAT MAKES MORE SENSE, VOCABULARY WISE.
CG
WHAT THE FUCK.
CG
THE SHIT IS GOING ON.
CA:
maybe it has twwo do wwith his fuckin rage shit
CA:
the kyle human also wwent off the deep end wwhen his rage shit got a hold a him
CA:
but if he tried twwo cull you it doesnt matter
CA:
hes gettin put in his place right fuckin noww
CG
GREAT. FUCKING FANTASTIC. EXACTLY WHAT WE FUCKING NEED, A CRACKED ASPECT FULL OF MURDERWHIMSEYS AND--
CG
YOU AREN'T FUCKING CULLING ANYBODY!!
CA:
theres cullin orders that wwent past fef and i
CA:
if wwe're goin on hemotype then thats the next fuckin step
CA:
gam didnt get permission'
CA:
he wwouldnt a gotten it
CG
WHAT IN ALL THE MOTHERGRUB'S HOLY LEAKING SLURRYHOLE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. NOBODY IS DOING ANYTHING BASED ON HEMOTYPE EXCEPT EQUIUS "I'M A FILTHY CASTEIST" ZAHHAK AND EVEN HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS SHIT.
CG
NOBODY SHOULD BE ORDERING ANY OF YOU PANDEAD MIGRAINES PERSONIFIED TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT ME, AND KILLING EACH OTHER ISN'T ON THE GRUBFUCKING LIST.
CA:
gam orderin eq twwo cull you both screams hemo bullshit
CA:
maybe they finally entered some caliginous kink shit and noww hes orderin eq around as some sort a pitch game
CA:
maybe it aint my pitch relationship you should be lookin at
CA:
howw fuckin disgustin
CA:
gettin /my/ quadrantmates invvolvved in their ugly fuckin hate romp
CA:
i dont fuckin THINK so
CG
I DON'T THINK SO.
CG
EQUIUS IS A LOT OF BULLSHIT BUT HE'S NOT A LIAR AND HE'S NOT SHAMEFULLY INCOMPETENT
CA:
did he or did he not try twwo cull you
CA:
i mean wwhat did he just go ovver twwo lopah and sollux happened twwo havve been there
CG
IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN ONE GOOD FIST TO THE HEAD TO FINISH THAT SHIT, AND HE DIDN'T BOTHER.
CA:
wwhat if he wwasnt
CA:
did you havve your scythes ready
CA:
i assume you did but wwhat if that wwasnt enough
CG
OH MY FUCK YOU ARE SO DUMB THEY'RE SICKLES NOT SCYTHES. HOLY FUCK. LEARN TO MELEE
CG
ANYWAY I USED MY POWERS TO DRAG HIM BACK TO THE LAND OF COMING TO ONE'S SENSES AND NOT BEING A RETARDED FUCKWIT.
CG
SOLLUX HELPED A LITTLE
CG
BUT IT WAS FINE I COULD HAVE HANDLED IT.
CA:
wwhatevver i knoww theyre fuckin sickles im just fumin ovver here thinkin about wwhat could a happened
CA:
and wwhy
CA:
im glad as all fuck it wwas handled
CA:
but the fact that he wwent ovver there twwo 'cull' you in the first place is un-FUCKIN-acceptable
CG
AND WE EMBARRASSED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND THREW HIM OUT A WINDOW AS A RESULT.
CA:
oh wwell thats nice
CA:
that makes evveryfin fuckin better and he totally wwont come back if gam decides twwo get on the saddle and yank his bit around again
CG
I HANDLED IT ONCE, I CAN FUCKING DO IT AGAIN.
CG
I DON'T THINK HE EVEN CAN TRY AGAIN ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW MY POWERS WORK.
CA:
i mean you and sol wwerent evven eligable for cullin orders sans the mutant thing
CA:
youre quadranted wwith a highblood
CA:
thats standard protection
CA:
wwhat the evverlovvin FUCK wwas he thinkin
CG
SOLLUX'S MUTANT THING DOESN'T QUALIFY FOR CULLING ANYWAY.
CG
OR AT LEAST NOT ENOUGH TO OUTWEIGH HOW USEFUL HE IS.
CA:
exactly so wwhat the evverlovvin fuck wwas the reason for the orders twwo go out
CA:
thats wwhat i wwant twwo knoww
CA:
and itll be the last fuckin thing he tells me i swwear twwo fuck this aint right
CG
ERIDAN.
CG
DON'T GO FUCKING RUNNING IN, CLAWS UP, PISSED OUT OF REASON TO LAY DOWN A HEARTY MEAL OF REVENGE, PIPING HOT AND SOUR FROM THE THERMAL UNIT OF IDIOCY.
CA:
oh so youre sayin i shouldnt do anyfin
CG
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M FUCKING SAYING, I'M JUST--
CA:
'so i heard you had orders twwo cull my quadrantmates but you wwere decent enough twwo not go through wwith them. kudos twwo you and your apparent good conscious wwhich i had no idea you had until today'
CA:
and wwhat about GAM
CG
SOMETHING IS FUCKING GOING ON, ASSHOLE, EQUIUS WASN'T CONFUSED, HE HAD GOTTEN CLEAR FUCKING ORDERS.
CA:
wwho set the fuckin orders in place
CG
BUT IT'S FUCKING ****GAMZEE****
CG
DOES THIS SOUND LIKE A RATIONAL AND TOTALLY LIKELY SITUATION TO YOU?!??
CA:
no
CA:
not at all
CA:
but im pretty shore it has twwo fuckin do wwith his rage shit
CA:
and if thats the case
CA:
im fuckin powwerless twwo stop him
CA:
at least in terms a my hope powwers
CA:
they slid right off Kyle
CA:
i'll havve twwo take him by force
CA:
wwhich also shouldnt be hard
CA:
i could probably take him out wwith my gun
CG
OH FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT A DUEL TO THE DEATH USING SHITTY GAME POWERS IS OUR ONLY POSSIBLE FUCKING SOLUTION HERE!!!!!
CG
LET'S NOT BOTHER TO FIND OUT WHAT'S ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENING OR ANYTHING.
CG
I'M GOING TO ASK TEREZI.
CA:
oh like she wwont wwant twwo take him out either
CG
I WOULD FUCKING HOPE ONE OF YOU FUCKS CAN BE REASONABLE ABOUT THIS
CA:
reasonable
CG
IF THIS ENDS UP TURNING INTO THE KARKAT AND SOLLUX SOLVE MYSTERIES POWER HOUR
CG
I WILL PUNCH MYSELF IN BOTH EYES UNTIL BLIND.
CA:
if you start punchin yourself im comin ovver there i swwear twwo fuck
CA:
if wwe aint cullin him than wwhat
CA:
wwere politely goin up twwo him and havvin a powwwwoww about his fuckin feelins
CG
I JUST. WANT TO FIND OUT. WHAT. IS. GOING. ON.
CA:
i already told you
CA:
its his rage shit
CA:
so noww all wwe havve twwo do is find a wway twwo cancel it out the same wway rage shit cancels my shit out
CG
OH SHIT WELL APOLOGIES ALL FUCKING AROUND
CA:
maybe theres somefin i can do here
CG
I HADN'T REALIZED YOU SUDDENLY SWITCHED TO BEING A MIND PLAYER
CA:
fine go glub up ter
CA:
but dont come cryin twwo me wwhen you spend all this time tryin twwo figure it out wwhen a good old fashion cullin wwas all that wwas needed
CA:
i knoww youre tryin twwo hold the team together
CA:
i knoww thats wwhat you do
CG
******NOBODY IS GETTING CULLED ******
CA:
but wwhat if he can't control his owwn shit and puts the wwhole team in danger
CA:
like he already apparently fuckin did
CA:
its either him or the rest of us
CA:
and you
CG
THEN, WE. FIGURE IT OUT.
CA:
alright kar
CA:
fine
CG
OK.
CA:
go glub up ter and hold a FUCKIN slam poetry circle twwo figure out wwhy gam tried gettin you and sol culled for no good reason
CA:
and then wwhen youre done present all your findins twwo him
CA:
im shore hell listen and be reel receptive
CG
DON'T ACT LIKE THAT.
CA:
you wwere almost culled
CA:
and i had no fuckin idea
CA:
i wwas probably sittin on lowwaa mindin my owwn fuckin business
CG
YEAH I CAN SEE HOW OF THE TWO OF US THIS IS INCREDIBLY FUCKING TRAUMATIC FOR *YOU*.
CA:
wwhile you and sol wwere under attack under some bogus orders and i wwas none the wwiser
CG
WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M NOT PISSED OFF BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION?? THAT IT'S JUST FUN AND EASY TO NOT
CA:
wwhat did he do
CA:
did he evven fight
CA:
did he hurt you
CG
I'M TRYING TO KEEP THIS SHITSHOW FROM FALLING APART, ASSHOLE, AND
CG
HE WASN'T ACTUALLY FUCKING TRYING.
CA:
i aint goin twwo get mad i just wwant twwo knoww if youre hurt
CA:
and if you need twwo pile about it evven a litle
CG
SHIT, YEAH
CG
BUT
CA:
wwhats up kar
CG
GETTING SHIT DONE FIRST IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY HOOFBEAST DROPPINGS OF AN EMOTIONAL STATE.
CA:
can you do any a that from your computer
CG
SO LET ME FUCKING WORK ON THIS CRAP FIRST.
CA:
alright
CA:
i can still come ovver and you can wwork from the pile if you need twwo relax a little
CG
I'LL GLUB AT YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE, OKAY?
CA:
alright
CA:
im sorry if i made this wworse
CG
YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT, IT'S FINE
CA:
if anyone can get twwo the bottom of it its you
CA:
just dont get knee-deep in sopor shit riddles and frustration if you can help it
CA:
no one should evver havve twwo deal wwith that
CG
IT'LL BE A NICE FUCKING CHANGE FROM KNEE DEEP IN EVERYBODY'S PERSONAL EXCREMENT AND THE DISGUSTING RED OCEANS ON LOPAH!!
CA:
if thats your vversion of a vvacation do i havve a bridge twwo sell you
CA:
take pictures for me
CG
DOES IT LEAD TO THE FULFILLMENT OF MY DEAREST PERSONAL DREAMS, A QUIET ROOM WITH NO OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLES??
CG
PICTURES OF WHAT?
CA:
oh i wwas
CA:
makin a joke about
CA:
nevvermind
CA:
glub me up wwhen it gets twwo much okay
CG
YEAH, I WILL.
CA:
<>
CG
<> 

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Eridan Ampora

September 2014

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