Jan. 2nd, 2014

amporaeridan: (Default)
bootyInspector [BI] has begun pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

BI: heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy there

BI: so I heard you might be the mermaid bug princess?

BI: I was looking to talk with her ;)

CA: mermaid bug princess

CA: first off wwho in the glubbin hell are you and secondly howw fuckin dare you refer to me or fef as a 'mermaid bug princess'

CA: consider yourself tagged for cullin you insubbordinate slugpanned idiot

Read more... )BI: sorry kenny the princess is in another castle

BI: damn

BI: do you know which one she is then dude cuz slogging through like 15 of you dudes is gonna get real old ten minutes ago.

CA: like id actually tell you

CA: assumin youre one a those aliens kar wwas glubbin about

CA: wwhich one a us is the heiress a the cod damn empire

CA: shes a princess you fool wwhat makes you think you havve the right to be pesterin her

CA: she has wway more important things to do

BI: yep that's me, international alien of mystery haha

BI: I wanted to talk to her about derse, the STRONG dude said she'd been there

BI: but lol its cool if you're playing the whole like, country club snobby dude bouncer thing

BI: not like I can't just keep going through the list :)

CA: wwhats there to knoww about derse its just some planet wwith a bunch a annoyin habitants wwith no sense a personal space

CA: ivve been there and its nothin spectactular

CA: so there has your curiosity been properly addressed noww you dont havve to go messagin fef wwith your pointless questions

CA: evven if youre some plunder inspector

CA: ill havve you knoww i personally manage her assets so you havve no porpoise inspectin any a her stuff

CA: i bet youre not evven certified

BI: dude I'll have you know I went to like, six whole years of booty college ok

BI: expert inspection here

BI: anyway so you've been there too?

BI: you didn't notice anything weird??

CA: booty college

CA: so do you havve a degree in maraudery or any a the looting sciences

CA: i myself find life on the sea much more beneficial

CA: wwhich i havve plenty a years experience so dont be throwwin your useless schoolfeedin in my face

CA: wweird howw

CA: the wwhole games wweird

BI: lol so a career dude that's cool I can respect that I mean

BI: no making up for experience am I right

BI: ;)

BI: weird like

BI: dunno, you don't like

BI: hear anything?

CA: youre oddly charmin for an alien

CA: that or your a browwn nubber and i dont take kindly to kiss asses

CA: wwithout the proper context a course

CA: if the mindless chatter a the carapaces counts then yes

CA: unless youre glubbin about the horrorterrors fefs obsessed wwith those things

CA: but i doubt it since youre just some lowwlife alien howw wwould you knoww about them

CA: let alone hear them

BI: hahahahah yeah dude kissing ass is a work of art its gotta be all

BI: contextually appropriate

BI: right framing devices and shit, lol

BI: but no legit I can respect a dude who knows his booty

BI: or lady, all you guys screenames are ambiguous as shit lol

BI: ahhhhhhhhh so they're called horrorterrors here?

BI: or is that like the troll name and they're called something else in game~?

CA: noww im dowwnright suspicious a you

CA: first you wwant an audience wwith fef

CA: then you start butterin me up like some remora

CA: noww youre tryin to find out more about the horrorterrors

CA: wwhat are you anglin for here

BI: well the blue dude said the princess would know the deal with derse

BI: I was thinking that'd include those creepyshits in space

BI: it's kind of the same conversation lol

BI: and dunno dude I thought we were being friendly here ahahah it's not like I got a reason to be an asshole right now?

CA: like shell you dont

CA: just wwhat are you aliens doin in our session anywway

CA: are you supposed to be helpin us or hinderin us or wwhat

CA: if you wwant to help wwe dont need it

CA: if you wwant to hinder us youll be as dead as a mutant grub on its wwriggling day

CA: im surprised eq didnt scare you awway though im sure he wwould havve covvered this

BI: nah dude equius is hilarious omg

BI: like, damn

BI: good times

BI: but yeah dude THATS THE QUESTION huh like

BI: 2 teams

BI: 2 game worlds

BI: what's up with that??

BI: and like personally I'm more into, like, trying to save earth and get it back than fucking with you guys game but

BI: whatever, you know?

CA: the fact that youre evven here indicates somefins fucked up

CA: and wwhy wwould you wwant to savve your wworld anywway

CA: is your wworld evven wworth savin i mean howw many galaxies do you havve jurisdictions in

CA: and wwell be clammin the neww univverse here so youre shit outta luck in that department

BI: lol wait you don't wanna save your world?

BI: no friends and fam back home to like

BI: summon up from nonexistence?

BI: like yeah people suck half the time but most the dudes I know are pretty legit, dying by meteor forever cuz hell's... gone? maybe? is a shitty way to do it, dude

BI: and I gotta get my sister back too so like, that's a big thing

CA: theres no wway to savve it if its already gone

CA: besides everyone i evven remotely givve a fuck about is already here

CA: or at least here in sprite form

CA: wwhen i make a neww wworld wwith the rest a my friends i wwont just be an officer ill be the cod damn matesprit a the empress

CA: wwell build a neww alternia together and create a wwhole neww generation a seadwwellers along wwith a neww system a govvernance

CA: though i dont knoww wwhy im telling you these things

CA: i dont evven knoww you

CA: cod wwhy are you so easy to open up to are all you aliens like this

BI: hahaha nah not everybody I'm just good at listening lol

BI: what's a matesprit

BI: like her royal husbando?

CA: oh right you aliens probably have some primitive perception a relationships and romance

CA: that depends

CA: wwhats a husbando

CA: im already royal so thats a givven

BI: her manmeat

BI: pool boy

BI: baby daddy

BI: you know

CA: did you just rap at me

CA: ivve nevver been so insulted

BI: hahahahaha fuck no dude

BI: rapping takes like

BI: dunno, you gotta be good with words and shit

BI: and not white lol

CA: youre wwhite blooded

CA: ive nevver heard a that before thats certainly a mutation wworth notin

CA: you wwoulda been culled right out back home

CA: anywway a matesprit is the flushed concupiscent quadrant

CA: and im on my wway towwards bein fefs

CA: so id appreciate it if youd refrain from callin her a mermaid princess

CA: as a matter a fact just pretend i nevver evven mentioned her

BI: no dude gotta get up to speed I'm all color blooded all the bloods of the rainbow

BI: man you guys kill each other for all kinds of reasons huh

BI: that's kinda shitty, not gonna lie

BI: lol so she's not a mermaid?

BI: just like, regular princess

BI: no oceanside playset included?

CA: stop squiddin around you cant be all the colors theres only one blackblooded resident i knoww a

CA: unless youre sayin you wwant to be hemoanonymous then in that case ivve got another troll you should hit up

CA: then again im still not sure wwhether i not i should encourage more contact betwween our species

CA: and for fuck sakes no shes not a mermaid but shes certainly no 'regular' princess

CA: and wwhat in cods name is an 'oceanside playset' is that some kind a aquatic merriment apparatus

CA: are you getting koi wwith me

BI: lol no its all like hologram sticker style, tilt the blood see new colors, rainbowriffic

BI: the fuck's hemoanonymous

BI: too many hemo words dude I feel like it's sophomore bio all over again

BI: lol just saying dude

BI: as a japanese princess myself

BI: just wanted to check what the deets on her royal status was yknow to be polite and shit when I message her

BI: nothings worst than some asshole getting your princess status wrong like a fat flabby cockbag haha

CA: wwait so youre a princess as wwell

CA: wwell wwhy didnt you say so in the first place

CA: no wwonder i felt so comfortable talkin to you

CA: wwere royalty

CA: and if you really do have holographic blood theres bound to be vviolet or tyrian in there somewwhere

CA: wwhats a cockbag tho

BI: fuck yeah

BI: crowned by the head of Sony himself

BI: most kawaii sugoi princess of all time gotta say

BI: hahahah oh man of Time get it

BI: but yeah dude so what are you a princess too or a duke like that bow and arrow guy or what

BI: dunno how the government structure of bugaliens work lol

BI: a cockbags like a dude who's your friend and all but can't stop acting like a douche all the damn time and just back the fuck down about the whole wizard king crap

BI: and then tries to pull a bunch of bullshit like it's not super obvious ahahah

BI: like for real

CA: prince

CA: also the advvisor to the heiress

CA: and that boww and arroww guy is one lousy excuse for a duke if thats wwhat he called himself

CA: and the system a goverment is that wwe have an empress (HIC) and the seadwwellers reign supreme

CA: the landwwellers and lowwbloods only exist to servve the highbloods

CA: since our lifespan is longer and wwere better suited to conquest

CA: also i agree wwizard kings are crap

CA: wwriggler nonsense

CA: sounds like you havve a cockbag friend wwhos into wwizards

CA: tell him to groww the fuck up

CA: no one wwill take him seriously otherwwise

BI: hah that's some like old school style medieval shit right there

BI: oppressing the peasants and shit, don't tell gregory hahahaha

BI: he'll rabble up all the low dudes and lead them into like, unionization or shit man I dunno

BI: can bug klingons unionize? like, is voting even a thing for you dudes? can the empress get overruled by some dude if everybody's working with him or you guys just solve that shit with a .45?

BI: lol yeah growing up's a thing he needs to work on man the wizard shit doesn't even really begin to like

BI: it's just like, damn, dude, wtf are you doing half the time

BI: fix your shit before you fuck up even worse, omg

BI: who even knows dude

CA: bug klingons i mean really

CA: if the lowwbloods unionize then theyll be greeted wwith a heapin dose a reality vvia the cullin drones

CA: its been a wwhile since someone tried since they usually dont get past the archeradicators

CA: none a their attempts wworked seadwellers and highbloods alwways come out ahead

CA: wwe havve the proper resources and the prowwess to endure

CA: they havve unstable telepathic abilities and squishy hides

CA: wwell you didnt bring him into the game did you that wwould havve been a mistake

CA: otherwwise wwho cares hes dead noww

BI: lol wow that sounds way shitty for the common man dude like


BI: what about ~obey cuz your princess is great~

BI: ~and will get everybody playstations~

BI: better strategy imo

BI: lol well yeah

BI: dude's a cockbag doesn't mean he should die in meteors man

BI: what kind of shitbag friend would I be there haha

CA: the "common man" wwouldnt evven havve a chance if not for the protection a the imperial fleet

CA: we face the threat a galatic wwar on a daily basis

CA: they should be thankful theyre evven alivve

CA: our princess is already great and she doesn't need to be handin out "playstations" to be so

CA: dont evven glub to me about strategy i mean youre the ones wwho bring in potentially self-destructivve players into the game because "wwhat kind of friend wwould i be"

CA: you sound just like her

BI: if she's great then like

BI: she shouldn't need to like

BI: threaten everybody to get them to follow her, yeah? :)

BI: and dude like, whatever, you're saying you've got no dumbass destructive bros on your team?

BI: everybody's got ~that dude~

CA: thats wwhat i wwas sayin

CA: you sound just like her

CA: shed rather cuddle wwith the lowwbloods not cull em

CA: i dont knoww wwhere she picked that up

CA: and no wwe dont

CA: besides me, wwe have a dead ghost girl, a paraplegic wwho can control animals with his thoughts, a skeevvy no-good psiionic, a wweird cat girl wwhos good wwith her claws, a fashionista wwith a penchant for sawwin things in half, a blind girl obsessed wwith justice, spiderwwench wwho can control lowwbloods with her mind, a drenched gymrodentpest wwho probably hasnt showwered since we arrived here, a drugged up clowwn wwho clubs things, fef wwho wweve already discused

CA: and our leader kar shouts at things, cares too much, and slices up imps wwith his sickle

BI: hey don't knock cuddling man like

BI: anybody can be sexy as shit but putting out a good cuddle is like

BI: a ~life skill~

BI: ahahahahahaha dude that's

BI: wow that's like

BI: the bad news bears of alien teams lol

BI: which one's the drunky jerkass coach with a heart of gold lol

CA: cuddlin is only appropriate wwhen youre in the right quadrant

CA: and like fuck id go red wwith a lowwblood

CA: wwhy wwaste the effort

CA: thats kar

CA: hes a special case

BI: he a mermaid prince too hahahaha

CA: unfortunately, despite his aqauatic lusus and impeccable leadership scales, he is not a seadwweller

CA: wwe dont knoww wwhat his blood color is hes the hemoanonymous troll i wwas talkin about

CA: he hinted to me he wwas a lowwblood but im not convvinced

CA: not yet

BI: lol yeah that'd be tough if it was

BI: unstable squishy hides?

BI: hahahaha I know how that goes

BI: everybody loves a hero

BI: till they figure out who he is :|

CA: i wwouldnt go so far as callin him a hero but

CA: hes definitely somefin

CA: and i doubt theres really anyfin to find out

CA: if hes a lowwblood than so be it

CA: he and i had this convversation and i basically concluded that hes still the same troll but

CA: im not about to excuse his undesirable lowwblood traits

BI: lol 'undesirable' that's like

BI: some nazi shit right there dude

BI: aliens are fucked, man

CA: wwhats a nazi

CA: and wwere certainly not fucked wwe clearly havve our shit together better than you all do

CA: I only see about four or 5 more screen names on my list I don't recognize howw in the bloody hell do you expect to wwin this game

BI: what's a nazi lol

BI: damn how do you explain that shit

BI: you got me, ms thompson, you were right, one day I was gonna need to know european history better

BI: revenge from beyond 9th grade and the grave at the same time

BI: I'd say ask eric but that's the worst idea hahaha

BI: anyway dude yeah 5 ppl sounds good more than that you get drama, five gives you a tiebreaker from four but keeps that whole small team dynamic thing

CA: i dont knoww wwhat the troll sam hell youre glubbin about

CA: but wwhos eric is he a nazi

CA: also five team members is paltry in comparison howw do you expect to kill your king

CA: do you evven havve space and time players

BI: eric's our cockbag and yeah essentially hahah

BI: which's why he'd explain it for shit all

BI: what king?

BI: I thought we had to like, restore peace and balance to the five elements of harmony with friendship and shit on our planets

BI: and yeah we totally have that covered I've got this time bandit shit down, man, time is gonna be my like

BI: fair maiden that I steal from a tower

BI: all sexy

BI: with my sweet robin hood mustache

CA: ask your cod damn leader im not about to givve awway any advvice
CA: but between royalty, its the final boss a the wwhole game
CA: i hope you havve someone wwhose good at chess

CA: im going to hit up this cockbag nazi guy then


amporaeridan: (Default)
Eridan Ampora

September 2014

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